Los Angeles — May 8, 2020 (in collaboration with The Onion)
BIG DIARY has had the American people under its oppressive thumb for too long. BIG DIARY, the massive industrial complex of journal-diary manufacturers has kept personal journaling stuck in the dark ages. You may have thought that physical notebook where you kept your most intimate thoughts was harmless. That’s just how the fat-cats at the BIG DIARY lobby want you to think.
Thanks to cozy relationships with corrupt politicians, the American government has turned a blind eye to Big Diary’s underhanded tactics. Big Diary has operated like a rogue state that’s above-the-law, using their expensive lobbying firms and large multinational corporate structure to drive sales for its shareholders.
Big Diary has amassed fortunes — and lined the pockets of their corporate officers — using predatory sales techniques on the elderly and underprivileged populations. They’ve knowingly pushed sales despite numerous peer-reviewed studies showing just how easy family members can find your diary.
The American consumer is demanding change. That change is here in the form of a family-owned tech brand, Textpert, whose mission is to rescue diary-lovers from the grip of corruption.
Textpert recently launched their cutting edge A.I. therapist, AiME, which includes a unique therapy diary.
AiME’s private video-based diary — also known as a resilience diary — is more nuanced than a typical notebook diary and, best of all, your little sister won’t find it hidden under your bed.
"Big Diary has run amok. We're going to take them down like MJ took down the Pistons in '91", quipped Textpert CEO, Ray Christian.
Big Diary has been an unstoppable force for years... but times are changing.
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The “Textpert Teaser” series of blog posts is designed to give quick insights, opinions and advice related to A.I., tech, mental health and productivity (~150 words). Hopefully it's obvious this post is satire... we have nothing but love for the delightful and venerable diary industry. In fact, we still journal the old-fashioned way every day.